Ending Thoughts At The End Of A Long Winter

Tonight on Jake's Showcase http://youtube.com/JakesShowcase my video "How to Fry Eggs -  First Time in Years -  Very Basic for Non-Cooks" https://youtu.be/mTDSVWj3WgI is at 483 Views 61 Likes 2 Dislikes.
Oh God I'm bored tonight. You know there's some magical point where the things you like doing to entertain yourself really get old and worn out. In my case I've been into fantasy basketball a lot this year.
At first it's a good sort of time waster in the cold winter nights as you have to pay attention to the statistics and try to pick the best players and then watch the games. But really there's only so much basketball you can watch and then it's not exciting or interesting.
Speaking of cold winter nights, I don't think you understand how limiting the winter is here in Canada. You can't go outdoors without being uncomfortable which leave you stuck in a very small apartment.
Of course you could visit people or ask for people to visit you but I'm like sooo stuck in my ways to just stay back until I surpass a million views across the channel which is suppose to be in 8 days I refuse to change like anything. I'm like this stuck stick permanently glued or cemented to the floor in not doing changing anything.
Of course this is going to dramatically change starting next weekend, I assume if the numbers hold true and will feel free to completely change almost everything or as much or as little as I need or want in my life. Remember I've been like this for years but it's all changing. Call someone, visit someone, drive to a different place for a visit, move completely, get a proper life set up. It's all up for grabs and all going to be accessible to me  psychologically once I feel like I've accomplished my big journey.
You know, I really go back and forth if I want to make more videos  afterwards. In one way it would be nice for a nice clean break, that's it done, thank you, goodbye. On the other hand just making YouTube a very minor but part of my ongoing life has certain intrigue too and as long as I put it to the back burner where's it's likely always belonged might be able to do a bit more.
But right now I am not inspired to do more other then what I planned....the ideas just aren't flowing it's not giving me the jump or excitement it did. Probably that's because I really haven't seen many of the positive results I was hoping for and the poverty and loneliness I've endured because I put this first too much has made it kinda too hard. Don't forget too that the "winter blues" or the SAD or seasonal affective disorder is right now at maximum strength at the very end of winter. I don't know if I have that SAD but being very low, very couped up and very down is a very common experience for many for a greater or lesser extent.
Again here in London with the city with the most precipitation I believe I've heard in the Western Hemisphere and the unbearable cloud cover really accent this here and for me. A wonder my creative mind was born from here.
Suppose to be over zero in two days and next week the temperatures soar revolutionizing the environment my spirit and my joy. This is going to coincide with me hitting my target so I expect next weekend to be flying high, very high. And this time to never be brought down again because this combination will never exist again of what this feeling of accomplishment does for my system and the feeling of frozen both literally and life wise will be overcome.
But we're at where we're at now and now in even the darkest days they too must be recognized as what they are, moments of life, witnessed, experienced and allow them to pass.
Only the most beautiful and stunning both inside and out which presents the fruits of mental, spiritual and physical love, you know, the intense sex Tigers, are good enough for me. Purr, Purr Kitty, Kitty, Purr, Purr because the Lion is thinking of you tonight, just as you had hoped.
Have a Wonderful Day or Night Fans,
Jake Johnston jakesshowcase@gmail.com