Longing For Love

Tonight on Jake's Showcase http://youtube.com/JakesShowcase my video "How to Quit Drinking Alcohol and Drugs - Changing Your Lifestyle and Maintenance" http://youtu.be/Lh74l-sML3g is at 172 Views 20 Likes 0 Dislikes. I write earlier tonight.
I feel like crap. I'm claustrophobic, bored and simply sick of the cold. The Canadian winter is like a prison for me. I can't go out, there's no where to go to, I feel under the weather and I wish I had something to do.
My experience has been once a girl rejects you in their mind that's it your done, even if you haven't asked or they lead you to the gate of promise. This is any form of rejection, coffee, movies, kissing ect. It doesn't seem to matter what the rejection is, once no, there's like no going back for them....it's like they don't want to reguess themselves and show they were right in their analysis.
You can ask a thousand times and a thousand ways and I've never seen a no turn into a yes.
It seems like even if you haven't asked, made a move or anything like that, if you can see it in their eyes they've decided about you already your just going to get a no so why bother.
It's a crazy conundrum, ask and lose or don't ask and loose...ah to be a male. I've only been asked out once in the 6th grade.
I saw the queen mother today. There's a regalness to how elderly women are....they really know their stuff. Men, us jackasses, or at least many that are and it's interesting to see their read on this man...me.
I wonder if the elders see a good man or a bad man in me. Is someone of my esteem and nature of value? I don't know what they think and of course that is ultimately independent of if and how a relationship forms and frutifies with theirs, but nonetheless the queen mothers have their own interesting take.
Longing for love, entertainment and companionship. 
Have a Wonderful Day or Night Fans,
Jake Johnston jakesshowcase@gmail.com